okay pat passed out under dana's car
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
