We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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