i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
