She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize