What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
