That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
