We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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