One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
