Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
