I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My legs feel like baby dolphins
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
