when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
