My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
