i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
