What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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