It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
