you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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