i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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