I cannot find my penis.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
