you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
