actually, I'm a sock model
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
