I bet he comes in French.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He better not be in your backpack
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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