Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
