I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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