OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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