So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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