Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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