my being single is dangerous.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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