We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize