Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
