If i come over, it means nothing
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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