I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
