So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
