All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
ok first of all what the fuck
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
