My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
