Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
