this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
