i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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