Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Sext me about skeletons
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize