I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Four minutes until I can fart!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
