There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
