Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Randomize
