It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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