I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
