nut hugger
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I need moral support for this bender
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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