i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
