haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
