3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize