Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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