I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
