You can't motorboat a personality
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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