Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
