I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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