Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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