I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
