I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
