Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
