i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
