In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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