If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
