Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
