also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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