i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
