are you still at the devil's house?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
