Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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