And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I am midnight drunk by noon
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize