bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
