my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
