office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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