I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
