It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
