i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
