If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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