Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
