You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
