If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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