I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
