Can Purell be used as lube?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
