You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
