I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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