I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize