I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
send nudes
from the living room?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
