by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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